Changes

This blog will reflect good and bad things that have happened to me literally in the past like two in half weeks. Get ready!

So on Thursday July 16th I was finally promoted. I start on Saturday as the Supervisor of Cosmetics. I'm so excited. I finally got something above Sales Associate. I'm so excited to be a step above someone. Currently I'm the acting Interim Supervisor of Grocery and I'm not even kidding, I've loved it. It's always busy, always insanely funny, and it's been my home for a year. Grocery has always been my home in Wal~Mart but recently with my supervisor being gone, drama has become a massive outbreak. I always thought that I would stay in grocery or at least that side of the store, now that I'm going to the other side, I'm slightly terrified. I'm happy that I get to have a really great SWAS (Store within a Store). When I found out I got the position, my co-managers pulled me into the office and told me how well I was doing at the store. They explained that since my supervisor has been on a leave, I have stepped up and helped them out a lot and they really have seen me grow with the store and really see potential with me.

David has hated Pennsylvania since he pretty much got off the plane. This is my home and as much as I get annoyed and hate it sometimes its my comfort spot. David's parents are talking about divorce and splitting up and I feel horrible but I don't want to go bail his mother out of another messed up situation. David and I can't really talk about anything because he gets angry but I don't want to move to Florida at all. I want to stay in PA and work on myself and us as a couple. I want to save money and get established with Wal~Mart and potentially get a job in my field. I want to tell him this but I can't. I can't get my emotions to come out and form a sentence to tell him. There is absolutely no part of me that wants to start all over again at Disney, Wal~Mart, or somewhere entirely new. I want to be established and just set myself up for success and happiness.

Nothing after college is the way I ever planned. I thought moving back to Florida would be an easy choice. I thought working for a massive new source or even just a known news source would be easy. I had such different plans and none of them worked out. With work finally starting to promote me and notice my hard work, I want to stay and show this store that I'm the real deal. I will work for what I want and I'm willing to go the extra mile. In the future I want to be able to do something that will be worth something and show people that I'm better then what they expect.

I can't decide what to do. Moving to Florida is something I really want but not right now, but losing David would be a big blow and not moving means losing him. I'm devastated and so utterly lost. I'm not sure what to do but I need help and my main rocks to lean on are gone. I feel honestly alone and abandoned. I miss having people to talk to and to just genuinely bitch at. I need someone to listen to my rants and then give me advice and just talk to me. I hope that getting this promotion will help me and give me some type of sign to go off of.

I wish that I could get a guidebook to life. I feel like a complete failure and no matter what I do I just keep failing. Don't get me wrong a promotion is a step in the right direction but I still feel like no matter what I do I'm failing someone. I just to make sure I'm doing the right thing and that I'm taking care of myself. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!